Rant #4

The Open Manuscripts,
I don’t know what is there between me and her , why do I feel left out when she laughs at jokes someone else tells … What is this feeling?! I’ve never felt it before . Is it normal?
I don’t know what is there between me and her , why do I feel left out when she laughs at jokes someone else tells … What is this feeling?! I’ve never felt it before . Is it normal?
I know we love each other , but I know this too that we’re too stubborn to admit , we never let a day pass without talking… no matter whatever the hell is going on with ourselves !
I know you have dreams I know you want to break free and live your life without any worries, Roam around the world .. Lay down on the grass on a starry night , feel the rain even in winters !… Watch the sun shine through the leaves as it rises.. and much more …
…. but please…
 Don’t go ! Not without me . I know I’m being selfish… but it is heartbreaking  … Because every second I spend without you seems worthless , like I’m falling into a dark abyss.
I created this scenario in my head that one fine day you will come to me and say.. that you know that I love you and you want to spend your life with me …. You know why ? Because this would be happiest thing I can imagine !
YOU ! are the happiest thing that ever happened to me ! I want people to look at us someday and say ” these two are the the happiest bastards I’ve ever seen”.  I want to grow old with you … It may sound cliché but I really do .. I know you’d be the coolest wife ever !  … I really love listening to what you have to say … I love how hilariously you say some words sometimes !….
            And of course I know when you’re upset.. even though you’re an expert in hiding your feelings.. I wanna be there for u … Taking away all the pain that you ever come across .
 I think its not just me.. I think that I m into you so much that the universe creates situation for us to get closer and closer …like that time when we  accidentally got separated from our group
.. but instead of going back we decided to roam around .. Do crazy stuff..run here n there !
        I think that was the universe trying to get us to spend more time together !  …
But the thing is .. No matter how much i love you … I know that I don’t get to spend my life with you .. I hate when people talk about your marriage because its so frightening to me !! Its heartbreaking … I physically experience pain in my chest …
That is how much important you are to me !  A mere thought of you holding someone’s hand is no less than a nightmare to me … Just imagine what your marriage would do to me … It would rip me apart ! I wouldn’t know what to do with myself .. And what purpose in life would I have then … I’ve fallen so deep for you that there’s no going back…  you’ve changed things forever …
I don’t know if you love me as much as I do.. or do you even love me or not in the first place … But I do.. so much ❤ !
Your wings might be ready
But my heart is not .
Anonymous 4
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