Rant #24

The Open Manuscripts,

Travelling to a new city, is an overwhelming experience in its own. How about shifting there all alone? Living 20 years of your life with the same people and then suddenly moving out and living with complete strangers. Not to a nearby city but almost 2000kms away. Suddenly it all comes down. People you loved, whom you ran to with all your issues disappeared. Slowly they took the door out from your life.

Every day that you thought would bring you a new sense of freedom, also got you a new sense of insecurity. One day you wake up and you have this feeling of just running back to your old life. The walks that you take from your workplace, makes you wonder everything you’ve done or you want to do. Makes you ponder how did you land here?

Been a month, I won’t say I have not adjusted. But wont also say I have. Missing out on food all the time, spending nights sleepless, crying most of the times. When your significant other labels you immature, dumb and a hypocrite. When your parents label you selfish. When they don’t understand issues like you’re not getting proper food to eat. What do you do? Do you remind them that you landed a job in a 3-billion-dollar organization? Or you tell them that they weren’t here when you needed some emotional support?

Every day is a… is a battle. Every night… a nightmare. But here I am, fighting every insecurity alone. Wondering what wrong did I do to anyone? I’ve never even told my mom that I need an extra chapatti when she had already cleaned her kitchen because I didn’t want to bother her. How can someone like me, do bad to anyone else but myself?

Because sometimes all you need in life is for someone to believe in you.

Anonymous 24

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